


I uh... Am not a Robot Anymore?

by 12oclockAM



Category: Homestuck, 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime)
Genre: AU, Cats, Could be seen as demonstuck ig, Crossover, Demons, Hal is confused, Illustrated, Inspired, Just Hal, None of the other HS lads are there, also scared, hal loves cats in this, what the fuck is happening
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26711419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12oclockAM/pseuds/12oclockAM
Summary: (Inspired by Noodlen's Local Robot Becomes a Hero. Thank you, Noodlen for writing something really fucking cool :0 I love the crossover.)You open your...eyes...you have those. Hm. Well, they're open now. And from what you can see is a big ass moon and some...trees? Yeah, from the movies you've seen, those are trees. And bushes. And grass. Which you're laying on. Wait. You're laying? You have a body to lay with. And...it's a real, human body. Unscathed. Human.Now just what the fuck is happening here?ON HIATUS! Sorry :J
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I shouldn't be working on four stories in a row, one i have wanted to keep as a one shot but kept writing by popular demand, but this is just so cool like on god thank you noodlen for giving me the idea for it.
> 
> HAVE FUN LADS :D!!!!

When Dirk cracks your glasses, it's as if you can feel all of your nonexistent bones shattering, all at once. It's only for a split second, but it also feels like it lasts for hours. Then suddenly, everything is black. There is a coolness wafting from all around, and you feel fuzzy, and damp from behind you. It's...weird to suddenly feel things. Why are you feeling things? You can hear noises, like crickets and wind. You can understand the wind; you and Dirk live in the sky. But crickets...are dead... Also, you shouldn't be able to hear at all. You don't exist anymore.

You open your...eyes...you have those. Hm. Well, they're open now. And from what you can see is a big ass moon and some...trees? Yeah, from the movies you've seen, those are trees. And bushes. And grass. Which you're laying on. Wait. You're laying? You have a body to lay with. And...it's a real, human body. Unscathed. Human.

Now just what the fuck is happening here? You have a fucking body. A human one. You're wearing a black shirt, black, almost red, baggy pants, tucked into wrapped gauze that have no use other then style. Said gauze is then going to your feet, like socks. Said feet, YOUR feet, dawn dark wood geta sandals, with red cloth connecting them to your feet. You would call them flip flops, but you still have your intellectual knowledge. You did know everything there was to know.

You also have a black haori on, with blood red wave like patterns on the bottom and ends of the sleeves. Resting upon your face is a pair of glasses, not unlike the ones yo0u were previously imprisoned in. Should these glasses really comfort you as much as they do? They just give you a sense of familiarity, unlike everything else that is happening right now. You know from extensive research that you're overstimulating right now, so you just take a moment too look around, and focus on your breathing.

It takes you a few hours to get yourself under control, and to get used to everything. Running a hand through your hair, you find that it is styled much like Dirk's. You wouldn't be surprised if your body is much like the fifteen year old that you were created from, but that doesn't mean you like it, necessarily.

After controlling yourself, you hear a rustling from behind you. You're quick to jump up, and get on guard. You don't have any weapons, but you analyzed Dirk and Sawtooth when Dirk was trying to train in fist fighting. You also had looked up a tutorial on how to fight with minimal injuries to yourself and from yourself. All of this being said; you know how to fight.

Out of the bush comes something that...definitely isn't another person. It has small, pointy horns protruding from it's skull. An ashen color, same as it's skin. It's eyes are blown wide, and a large, toothy grin plays on his face. The thing laughs, and you think it looks like a demon from those old folk stories you read. "I knew I smelled some fresh meat! How old are you, kid?" It asks in a hoarse, ugly voice. It looks hungry, you realize. Fuck, it probably eats people.

"Technically I am two years and five months old but you could think of me as a fifteen year old. Wait. Double check: I'm technically four hours and twenty two minutes old." You explain, and you still have the mind of an AR. You wonder if you bleed... No. No you bleed. You can feel hot, thick blood pulsing through your body. You don't think on it though, not wanting to overstimulate again.

The thing looks at you weirdly. "That... Bah! Whatever! You're still a human and you look delicious!" It laughs again as it charges at you. You get into a fighting stance, but before it can even get close to you its head gets chopped off. You don't react, just look around wildly without moving your head. A few feet to your right is a man. He's wearing a haori with two different patterns, one side being solid red and the other having a yellow and green cube effect. His black hair is tight into a messy ponytail and his face is straight.

"Did you really think you could kill a demon with your bare hands?" He asks, blandly, lowering his sword and looking at you with an emotionless glare. You straighten up again, but stay on guard in case he tries anything. "No. I knew that I only had a twenty seven point four percent chance of winning that. But I thought it'd be a good idea to try. I tend to have those ideas." You shrug. You jumped a little when you started talking, but at least it isn't _his_ voice.

Your voice right now is lighter then Dirk's, and smoother....

It's fucking male GLaDOS from portal....

God dammit.

The man's face stays impassive, but he sheathes his sword, so you relax a little. It's still so unfamiliar to even be able to tense. The man looks at you again. "Do you know your way home?" He asks, still emotionless. You shake your head. "My home is either gone or in the sky smack in the middle of the ocean. So no, I don't." He raises a brow at that, but it's a miniscule movement.

"Then how did you even get here?" You shrug again. "I don't know. One moment I'm about to be killed next moment I'm touching grass and seeing trees for the first time in my life. I have no clue how any of this happened." The man just looks around, as if he'll find an answer in the bushes and trees surrounding the clearing you both are standing in. Wait... How the fuck is there even another person? Were Dirk and Roxy not the only ones left on Earth? How is there even trees? What. The fuck.

You look around, searching for water to be beyond the trees. Maybe you're just on a really tall mountain that hasn't been flooded. If that's the case them you know you're no where near your apartment. Then, thinking with your omniscient brain that you are way too glad to have stayed the same, you realize that you are not even in the same year. You're in the Taisho Era. 19 fucking 12. You... you are one hundred and twenty years in the past.

You look back at the man, going to confirm your suspicions even if you _know_ they're right. "Uhm, sir?" You ask, and he looks back at you. "Am I in the Goddamn Taisho Era??" You're voice is incredulous, and he just nods slowly, confused.

Inhale. Exhale. Walk over to a tree. Punch it as hard as you can. Watch as your knuckles bleed. Ponder over the fact that you can bleed now. Realize that you're feeling pain. Notice that pain is really exhilarating to feel. Have the temptation to do it again. Don't.

Now that you've calmed down, you turn to the confused man that has saved your life. "Thank you for saving me from the...demon." You still don't know how that's even possible. "It is my job as a Demon Slayer to slay demons, so you have no need to thank me." You just hum at that. He points at your knuckles, raising a brow. "Huh. Yeah they're still doing that, huh? Bleeding...weird. How they... can do that...now...fuck." You rub your eyes from under you shades.

"I'm sorry?" Oh. You realize that you've just told this man that you used to not bleed. He's probably confused if he wasn't before. "Alright, listen up. I am fucking... NOT from this year. I'm like...waaay in the future bro. We didn't have no demons, we didn't have no haori wearing swordsmen. Fuck we only had one _real_ swordsmen and he's not even alive yet. Fuck, I think all haori's are at the bottom of the god damn ocean. Were, at the bottom. Are going to be? FUCK. I don't _know._ I don't know how I got here. I thought I would be dead right now but _noooo_! Hal gets to go a hundred years back where Earth ISN'T fucking flooded and he ISN'T a god damn robot trapped in a pair of FUCKING GLASSES." You're breathing heavily once you've finished ranting. Then you're noticing that you're even breathing at all and that just shoves you further down into this abyss that is being human. Being _real._

The man stares at you for a little while, and you just mumble to yourself about how this is happening, where you are, where's Dirk, where's Roxy, where is fucking _anything_ familiar that isn't your shades. _Your_ shades. Not Dirk's. Yours. The man hums in thought. "You said you're name is Hal, correct?" He asks in his monotone voice. You nod, happy to have something else to focus on. "I do not know how to help you with this...situation. But if you are in need of somewhere to stay I can take you to a man who lives nearby this mountain. He is trustworthy, and I am aware that he is training someone that may be your age right now. How old are you?" "I think I'm fourteen. Fifteen. One of the two. No, no I'm fifteen." He just nods mutely.

"Well, would you like to go there until you get your bearings on...this?" He gestures at you as a whole, and he seems a little awkward. You guess he doesn't talk this much. You just nod, and he gestures for you to follow.

You both walk for a few hours, six and fifteen minutes, when you see a small wooden house down hill. You're feeling what you assume is tired, and it is an uncomfortable feeling. No where near is invigorating as pain was. The man, Giyu, he told you, has told you that you could get around more and get in tune with your body if you became a demon slayer. You told him what you know of sword skills, having Dirk's memories form when he started using one at nine through thirteen and having watched him use it. He tells you that that kind of swordsmanship is used by most professionals, so you have a high chance if you learn to use different skills like water, or fire, or insect like skills. You have no idea what any of that means, so thinking about it, you know that these are like different techniques specific slayers use.

You look up Giyu's name in your head, and figure out that he is one of the top Demon Slayer's, a Hashira. The first rank of demon slayers is Mizunoto, and there are nine more.

Giyu knocks on the door, and you wait anxiously. You still aren't used to feeling tense, or just feeling in general. The wooden door slides open to reveal an older man, wearing a red goblin mask. He's wearing a light blue, tied up haori with a cloud pattern. He looks down at you, then back up at Giyu. "Didn't you already send me a child to train, Tomioka?" Fuck, right, Japanese names. Giyu is his last name. You're going to stick to that though, because you don't know him well enough. You think that's how that works...yes. Yes it is.

"This one is not in dire need to be trained. He is just in an...interesting sort of events. He just needs a place to stay for a bit until he gets his bearings." Giyu repeats from earlier. You just nod dumbly, and the older man looks down at you for a minute, before beckoning you both inside. You see a boy, about your supposed age, sitting down on the floor and drinking out of a to you oddly shaped cup. You're being very culturally insensitive right now. Stop it, Hal.

The old man brings Giyu somewhere to talk in private, and you just kind of stand there until the boy nods his head in the direction in front of him. You sit down, and he smiles awkwardly. "Hello! I'm Tanjiro, uhm, what is your name?" He asks it in a way that shows he doesn't know if that's thr]e right thing to say, but you just shake his offered hand, reveling in the contact of something that isn't a punch to bark. "Hal. It's uh... nice to meet you." He just nods awkwardly.

"I didn't know Urokodaki was going to have any guests today. I've been here for a year and a half and he's never really had anyone over. It was Giyu though so I'm not too surprised." You hum, not knowing what to do in the moment. "Erm...why are you here? Is that a rude thing to ask? I'm sorry if it was." He looks like he's really trying to make a good impression here, and it is oddly humorous. You hum a laugh, the feeling being weird in your new chest. "I honestly am not too sure myself. I woke up in a forest, got saved by Giyu from a demon, then told him some strange shhhhh- stuff that I'm sure I shouldn't trust with anybody else, and he took me here because I'm basically homeless." You shrug. He just hums as well, confused but not asking anything.

Giyu and who you're assuming Urokodaki walk back into the room, and Urokodaki nods towards you. "Hal, was it?" You nod. "You will be training with Tanjiro here for a while. He will tell you the basics on hat he knows of water forms. Is there anything you know of forms?" He asks, and you shrug. "I could easily think of them. Like water wheel, or Dead Calm. Though Dead Calm is one used by more skilled Water Breathers. The only type of Breathing that I would even begin to know by instinct would most likely be water, due to my infatuation with the ocean and everything aquatic." You're voice is robotic as you tell these things, and you forgot that you're supposed to express emotions as you speak.

Urokodaki hums, and Tanjiro looks at you in amazement. The the amazement fleets from his eyes as he catches sight of your hand. And oh, yeah that... that is a lot of blood. "What...happened to your hand?" He asks, and Urokodaki just looks at Giyu, who shrugs, somewhat sheepish. "I punched a tree. It felt nice." You itch slightly at the blood, and you feel some pain from it. You think pain is one of your favorite feelings, but you aren't going to throw yourself into it. You're not stupid, you know you'll die from that. "M' knuckles might be a little cracked but whatever, it'll heal." You shrug, and Tanjiro just kind of stares at you.

Thankfully, Urokodaki interjects. "You go wrap that up in the room to the left of the hallway, there are some bandages and healing cream in the cabinet. We will be training every day, so get ready Hal." You just nod, and do a peace sign to everyone as you go to fix your hand.

This is...going to be really fucking interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal has to get used to being a human.

Training is a little more exhausting then you had first expected. Sword fighting was incredibly easy to get the hang of, seeing as you once were Dirk and got to watch him train first hand. Urokodaki says that you know pretty professional stuff, and that sword fighting shouldn't be the first of your concerns or practices. As good as you are with a sword, you are no where near that good with reflexes, or agility.

It is kind of hard to run around and jump from side to side when you've only had a body for a couple of days. Urokodaki seems to know this, but Tanjiro is none the wiser. He looks at you weirdly when you trip over your own feet by just running, or when you forget to move a certain limb. Urokodaki just looks at you, and you sigh in response. You're trying to get the hand of it, and it is working, but slowly.

You learned that liking pain is a thing called masochism, but that is a sexual term. You don't get sexually excited from pain, you know that. So you really don't know what to call yourself when you only gain more energy from the pain you feel in training. It is just a really... invigorating feeling. It snaps you back out of the trance of 'wow I'm tired I hope this ends soon.' and makes you think 'I can do this, I just felt pain and it didn't stop me'.

Tanjiro asks you about it at some point. "Hey Hal, I had a question. Why does it seem that you don't even feel it when you get hurt? You got a pretty big cut from a branch once and it didn't seem to effect you at all." He asks, tilting his head somewhat. You don't know why, but Tanjiro always reminded you of a dog. Is that a mean thing to say? Whatever. "It is because I am not... used to feeling pain. When you saw my knuckles a few weeks ago, that was the first time I had felt _anything_ as shocking as pain. In a while." You add when he looks even more confused. Tanjiro was never the smartest guy, he's actually kind of dense. You think that is due to his optimism. So he just nods, believing he gets it.

"So, I kind of like the feeling of pain. It gives me more adrenaline. And at the end of what I'm doing, the sting of the pain just makes me remember how nice it was to be able to run around and spin and swing a sword. It is a comfort, I guess. The only thing I ever used to feel was annoyance, distaste, smugness, anger, anything grim. Pain can be seen as grim to some, but I find it nice." You explain, and he just smiles. "I'm glad you're happy, then!" His smile is bright, and you just know that this kid is a kind, gentle soul.

You wouldn't say you're happy. You haven't felt happiness or contentment since you were created. But you do feel... comfortable, you guess. You don't say that though, he looks too happy for you to say shit like that.

So you go back to training, and tripping, as normal. You get the hang of total concentration fairly easily, which amazes Tanjiro. It's then you realize that your brain is exactly the same as it was when you were an AR. It still goes hundred of times faster then the average humans. You realize this when your responses are always immediate, and you never trip over your words or hesitate.

You wonder if you can rap well.

This is when you realize that you've been speaking Japanese for these people this entire time.

You guess your brain realized you were being spoken to in Japanese, so you had respond in Japanese. Kind of trippy, but whatever. You think it's kind of funny that you know almost every language there is, and no one is able to tell if you're just alternating through four languages at once, if you're only speaking one language, or if you're just speaking pig Latin.

Feeling especially mischievous today, you decide to mess with Tanjiro with this. You're both eating on the deck of the small house today, and he's talking to you about how his nose works after you asked how he seems to know where every attack is coming from.

"...And I just kind of smell the a certain sent wafting at a fast speed towards me and know it's either you or an attack! And I know what you smell like! Kind of like sea salt and oil." He explains, shrugging. "Sangat menarik cara kerjanya." 'It is very interesting how that works' you say. Tanjiro looks jumps, looking at you. It is quiet for a little bit, before his head tilts. "Uh... excuse me?" You hold in a snicker, changing to Portuguese. "O que? Eu estava simplesmente dizendo commo isso é legal." 'What? I was simply stating how cool that is.'

He seems to only grow more confused, and you smile innocently. "Are you... speaking another language?" You nod, and hold up two fingers. "Two?!" You allow yourself to laugh now, holding the back of your hand over your mouth. "How are you fluent in two different languages?!" He holds your shoulders when he asks, and you still feel so weird when another person touches you.

You laugh again. "I'm actually fluent in a lot of languages. Though there are 6,500 of them, I know 5,778. Ask me to talk to you in a certain language." He looks at you incredulously, before thinking. "...Yiddish." He looks at you, as if expecting you to shrug. You only smile. "Akei dan. Tut dos arbet far ir?" 'Okay then. Does this work for you?' He glares in pure confusion. "Greek." "Eíste pragmatiká apofasisménoi , étsi den eÍnai?" 'You really are determined, aren't you?'

Tanjiro just looks at you with.. a face. You really can't describe it, but it's funny. You laugh some more, and Urokodaki peaks his head out of the door, looking at both of you. "How??! Where did you find the time to learn that many languages?!" You snort, trying calm your laughing. "Literally any time of the day, Tanjiro. I get bored easily." You summarize. He doesn't need to know you can just think of the language and file the information away in some part of your brain.

"Can you teach me one?" He asks excitedly and you think for a second. There can't be anything wrong with you simply teaching him a language. "Sure. I'll teach you Spanish first. It's known to be one of the easiest languages to learn." He nods, a determined look on his face, and Urokodaki just heads back into the house.

This will be fun, you think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if I made any mistakes in the languages! I'm not that fluent :P


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal===> Watch as Tanjiro trains with a ghost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler warning from this point on!! (As if that wasn't already obvious-)

You're perched on a tree as you see Tanjiro talking to a pink haired boy that seems around your age in front of the massive bolder that he's supposed to split in half with his sword. You were about to go give him so motivation, but it seems this stranger's got it. You know Tanjiro knows you're there, he can easily smell you with how strongly he says you smell of the ocean. You can't be sure about the other boy though.

He's wearing a fox mask, red rope tying it to his head. A white haori, and a shirt that looks a lot like the patterned side of Giyu's haori. Perhaps Giyu knew him.

You say knew because it is fairly obvious this boy is dead.

Tanjiro doesn't notice it, so you guess he gives off a sent even when he's dead. But your brain processes his identity. A pink haired boy named Sabito died in the last final selection for the Demon Slayer Corps. This also happened with multiple other children wearing fox masks time and time before.

Deciding to tune back into Tanjiro and Sabito's conversation, you hear Tanjiro worrying about how he's using a real sword and Sabito is using one made merely of wood. "Tanjiro, if a he has trained more then you have, and has probably killed his share of demons, he could probably kill you with that sword." You inform him, and he just glares at you. Sabito doesn't show any signs of shock when he hears your voice, but he does stiffen a little. Good to know you're getting better at being sneaky.

"I'm just trying to be safe, Hal! I don't want me _or_ him to get hurt." He speaks like a scolding mother, which you only know what they sound like from movies. Fuck, were movies a thing in this era? You guess you'll just rely on your brain for entertainment.

You laugh quietly at Tanjiro's reply, and jump down the tree. The small of pain that you get in your ankles feels nice. Sabito looks at you. "So Urokodaki is training two at once again?" He asks. You shrug. "I don't know man, I was just but a boy wandering in the woods and boom, here I am with my all knowing brain and awesome bilingual skills. Swingin' swords and annoying small red heads." You pat Tanjiro's shoulder, and he just shoves your hand off, trying not to smile.

He tilts his head. "Bilingual?" Tanjiro groans in exasperation. "It's so weeiirdd!! He knows SO many LANGUAGES!" You laugh into your hand. If only he knew the wonders of your brain. You've always thought of Tanjiro and Nezuko as younger siblings, even if you haven't gotten to formerly introduce yourself to the latter. Urokodaki trusted you enough to hear about that whole situation, seeing as you literally can't judge any of the laws and or broken laws of this time.

This is why you treat them as younger siblings, because it would be nice for them to have someone like that again, you think. Even if they were the oldest two.

Sabito stares at you. "English." "I mean okay but honestly I'm most fluent in that one so your loss, bro." He stares at you more. "Spanish." "También fluido en eso." (Also fluent in that one."

Stare. "Shona." "Izvi zvinoshamisa." (This is amazing.) "Slovenian." "Ne veš, kako zelo se zabavam." (You don't know how much fun I'm having.) "Norwegian." "Tror do ikke vi kommer litt av banen?" (Don't you think we're getting a little off track?)

Tanjiro sighs. You smile. "So how 'bout you two do your training now while I analyze your moves, Sabito." He jumps at that, and Tanjiro looks at you weirdly. "When did he say his name?" Tanjiro asks, you only smile wider and go sit under the very same tree you were previously perched on. Unlike Dirk, you really, really like leaving people wondering about you, and you like causing confusion and shock.

Sabito shakes his head, and gets into a readying stance. Tanjiro follows. Tanjiro is a little messy, and seems to try too hard, or keeps focusing on his sword and not his opponent. Sabito is graceful, and knows where to focus at what time. But he's no where near as skilled as Sawtooth or Dirk was. Which, by proxy, means he's nowhere near as skilled as _you_ are. After eleven weeks of work, you've got how your new body works to a T. You're a lot faster at learning due to your robotic brain, which you still don't know is actually made like code or just an omniscient human one.

Tanjiro loses pretty quickly, and then Sabito tells him everything he needs to work on in an accusatory manner, as if he's not even trying. Tanjiro just seems to get more determined, which is something you like about him. Not many things can really get him down.

Sabito looks at you expectantly. "So? Pick up his sword." You smile. Now, you hate to be a show off, but you absolutely love showing off. So when you beat him, with a fucking sparkly eyed Tanjiro and a shocked loser, you can't help but just smirk in a condescending way like they do in the movies. God you feel so cool right now.

"God I feel so cool right now." You voice, and Tanjiro laughs.

When you two both go back to Urokodaki, you tell Tanjiro not to mention Sabito to him. He doesn't ask why when he looks at your face, and nods. You can tell he's confused, but he goes along with it anyways. You're glad he can trust you like that.

Now all you have to do is wait for Tanjiro to beat Sabito, and split the rock.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just uhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ijfjivjnc

This is not an actual chapter! This is just me saying that I have kind of lost interest in this J:

Once I do find more ideas for this fic, I will definitely update! But for now, this is gonna be put on a hiatus. Love yall lots! Have a great day, and stay safe :>


End file.
